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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29452347">Lemon stealing whore</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DE600/pseuds/DE600'>DE600</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Bad Dirty Talk, Bad Puns, Blow Jobs, Come Eating, Come Shot, Comeplay, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Has a Penis, Couch Sex, Crack Fic, Crack Treated Seriously, Gags, Happy Ending, Improvised Sex Toys, Lemon, M/M, Man Titties, Masturbation, Nipple Play, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Punishment/Reward, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, boys in panties (technically they're briefs), inappropriate use of lemons, porno parody, the grapefruit thing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:00:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,224</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29452347</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DE600/pseuds/DE600</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A crack parody of the lemon stealing whore porno, where lemons are used quite inappropriately, to the point where I can't even tag it right on mobile.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hank Anderson/Connor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lemon stealing whore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'M BACK BABY!!! </p><p>Work fucked me in the ass with a swing shift so severe that my brain basically stopped working and was filled with pillow stuffing for a few months, I'm getting back on the horse with some lovely crack for Valentine's day!</p><p>This is crack treated seriously, it does get a little silly but it's mostly up to my usual caliber of porn. I just needed a lemon stealing whore parody and no one else was gonna make it. </p><p>Mega porn logic, a little in the consent department, but I didn't even think it was bad enough to tag dub con, but if you think I oughta don't hesitate. Very inappropriate use of lemons, I don't wanna spoil it too much, but if you're not an android, lemons + genitals are a bad idea, if you're an android you're probably fine.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hank was very proud of his lemon tree. It had finally sprouted beautiful, fruitful, lemony lemons, the foliage broken up by bright splashes of yellow fruit. He drank from a tall glass of homemade lemonade, thinking about all the ways he could use his lemons for tasty treats, like pies or jams. </p><p>If he dared, he could even invest in his lemon tree, taking out insurance and paying for it by selling his sweet and sour treats. Hank was just thinking about how valuable this piece of property was, when his mood was soured by thoughts of the naughty lemon stealing whores that had been traversing his neighborhood as of late. </p><p>He'd arrested a few of them, being called into neighbor's yards to take care of them and keep their precious lemon trees safe, but Hank swore to himself that if a lemon stealing whore ever dared attempt their thievery on his fruit, he'd show them a piece of his mind. And then the thought occurred to him that he hadn't looked over at his beloved tree in at least thirty seconds. </p><p>Lo and behold, there was a lemon stealing whore, stuffing the brightly colored fruit into his sheer blue briefs, and holding lemons in his arms against his skinny, twinky chest. Hank looked on in outrage that this little android whore was picking lemons off his lemon tree, as the robo-slut looked back in wide eyed fright with big brown eyes like the soil his tree was planted in and a spinning LED the same color as his lemons. </p><p>"What the FUCK!? It's a lemon stealing whore!" Hank crowed. </p><p>Connor dropped a few pieces of his citrus in a panic, trying to gather the fruit and run away. But he largely froze, hesitating, he knew he was caught. </p><p>"You think you can just steal my lemons!?" Hank roared, chasing the boy down. </p><p>"Oh no!" The lemon stealing whore cried as he was grabbed. </p><p>Hank gripped the droid by his neat brown hair and plunged his meaty hand into the sheer briefs that showed the boy's erect cock quite nicely when they weren't bulging with fruit that didn't belong to him. Hank pulled the lemons out of the fabric and showed it to the boy who watched with his tongue out, panting for something bitter in his mouth. </p><p>Hank felt his come would best fit the bill, and pushed Connor to his knees, ignoring his fearful apologetic babbling in favor of shutting him up with his cock. The rage from having his lemons stolen had given him an adrenaline boner and the sight of the nearly naked slutty toaster had certainly helped him along. Hank took it out of his pants and shoved it in that salivating silicone mouth. </p><p>Connor knew this was his punishment for stealing from humans, choking on a hot human dick was the consequence for wanting such pretty fruit. His tongue had ached to analyze the juicy flesh, it was only poetic justice that this man would put his juicy flesh in his mouth. </p><p>"Good robot," said Hank, smacking a plastic cheek to get a little vibration going on his cock. "If you suck my cock real good, do really good job, I might let you keep a lemon." </p><p>Hank released Connor for a moment, let him catch a breath that he didn't need, appreciating the drool and the dazed, needy expression. Connor squirmed, uncomfortable with having his hair pulled but panted desperately anyways. His round eyes, round as oranges, followed the lemon Hank was teasing him with. </p><p>"I don't want just one! I-!" Connor cried before his face was impaled again</p><p>"Get back to sucking. Earn your lemonade, whore."</p><p>But the boy was of course resisting, he didn't really want to be punished for stealing, and hadn't quite gotten the picture that he was earning a reward yet. Every time Hank pulled his head back toward the tip, Connor fought to take the big dick out of his mouth before he was forced back down to the base. It occurred to Hank that the little criminal needed a little convincing. </p><p>He graciously allowed the android to come up off his cock and caught his eye with a juicy round lemon, waving it before his eyes. Hank smirked as Connor followed his treat like a doggy, tongue out and everything. But Connor only got one lick on the tart peel before Hank took it away, holding it out of reach. </p><p>"What do you gotta do to earn it? Huh?" </p><p>Hank gestured to his punishment rod expectantly and Connor got the picture, sucking dick of his own free will this time. Only a deviant would dare steal a human's lemons, so finally that free will was going to something useful. Hank had no need for some machine to tend to his lemons, but he would happily punish a deviant for consciously committing the crime of taking his lemons away from him. </p><p>"That's a goood lemon stealing whore. Good boy," Hank praised.</p><p>It was such a shame that stealing was a crime that could be punished with things like jail cells, where sweet little lemon whores like this would be kept all alone with no cocks to suck. Hank was sure the robot couldn't help it, he'd just discovered how bright and warm the world was. Androids needed to know how sweet lemonade tasted and how pretty lemons were, and they needed to flaunt their pretty little bodies in exchange for them. </p><p>Connor was really going to town, slick analysis fluid dripping down his chin, whining for attention, begging for fruit. One hand was on Hank's waist but the other was groping at the free hand holding the lemon that he wanted so bad. </p><p>"Here, boy. You can borrow it, rub your pretty cock on it, go on. You're earning it," Hank cooed. </p><p>Hank pulled Connor off for a moment again, picking up yet another lemon off the ground while he watched the robo-whore desperately massage his cock with the round hard fruit. And he seemed to get the picture that his balls and the lemon had that in common- round, plump, juicy and full of seeds- and rubbed himself lower and lower down, even working it behind his balls. Nailing his prostate through his taint and letting his ass drool slick all over the fruit that Hank was so graciously letting him borrow. </p><p>"Hey, look at me," Hank ordered, making Connor focus his eyes that were trying to roll back in his head, "what would you do for two lemons? Gonna be good?" </p><p>Connor crossed his eyes, looking at the cock in front of his face before shoving it back in his throat, humming happily. The slut rubbed himself with the lemon with one hand while he started fingering his fleshlight fucksleeve with the other. </p><p>"Oh? You're gonna be an extra good lemon whore, gonna let me fuck your ass?" </p><p>"Mm-hmm!" Connor nodded best he could with a dick in his mouth. </p><p>"Yeah, you've been a good boy, let's get you in the house." </p><p>Connor didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, being brought in the house. He'd been kneeling in the grass so long that he had dirt on his knees, but the human lemon enthusiast dragged him through the yard and into his house, far away from the object of his bitter desire. But they did bring the two lemons with them and Connor clutched the one he was allowed to keep to his chest. </p><p>It wasn't long before the wanton automaton and the horny farmer were pressed together on the couch, and Connor was finally able to taste the remnants of lemonade in a kiss before he was pushed into position. On his hands and knees, briefs pulled down just enough to expose his asshole. </p><p>"If you're real good at taking it up the ass, I might give you a whole bushel of lemons, would you like that?" Said Hank, smacking the horny toaster. </p><p>"I want lots of lemons!" Connor cried.</p><p>"Then you're gonna pay for em with your ass, baby." </p><p>A good whore didn't need any prep, and the bad robot hadn't taken any time to prepare for his little fruity heist before he'd snuck into Hank's yard so Hank wouldn't give him the chance to get all warmed up. He'd be fine, he was all wet anyways. </p><p>Hank pushed his dick in Connor's ass, making him wail in pleasure. Crying out about how it felt so good as Hank started pounding him. The sound of their hips hitting together sounded an awful lot like what it sounded like when Connor dropped all those lemons on the ground. Thunk, thunk, thunk.</p><p>Hank hoped that would help the lemon stealing whore understand that this was his punishment for stealing. That he understood how naughty stealing was and that men would punish him with their cocks for the crime of being a whore sneaking into backyards. It was very naughty, and now his fruity fleshlight was full of dick.</p><p>"This is what happens to little fruits like you who steal fruit that belongs to somebody else. You become the fruit that belongs to somebody," Hank panted as he banged the robot, thinking that, yeah, that made sense. </p><p>"I- I just want-!" Robo-slut cried as he came prematurely. </p><p>Hank slowed down, pulling out. He needed to assess the damage, he couldn't have his whore enjoying his punishment too much. Hank was still angry that he'd tried to steal from him. The boy's undies were all wet and dark, he could see his cute little cock even better now that it was soaked with android cummies. </p><p>"Poor boy, you shot your seed in your undies. You know this is a punishment, right? You're supposed to be pleasing me so you can earn a lemon the honest way." </p><p>"I'm sorry, please let me keep the lemon, I want it so bad. I'm sorry I came," Connor begged. </p><p>He tried to clean up his mess with his hand, wiping up his cum and licking it off his fingers. But that just intrigued Hank. </p><p>"What's it taste like?" </p><p>Hank took Connor's fingers and sucked them into his mouth. Connor wished squirmed and whimpered while his fingers were in a warm human mouth. But Hank's expression lit up and he released Connor. </p><p>"It tastes just like sugar! See, I knew you were sweet. Hold on right there, baby, don't move." </p><p>Hank gave that silicone ass a nice smack and left the room, trusting that roboboy would wait patiently. He was so good. And so yummy. Hank had taken his lemon with him and sliced it in half in the kitchen, and sliced a few more for good measure, taking them and a cup with him when he returned to his whiny whore. </p><p>Connor sniffed, lounging body relaxed from his orgasm. His eyebrows pinched seeing what the human punishing him had in his hands.</p><p>"What are you gonna do with that? You already punished me for stealing. You're gonna punish me more? I don't even know your name!" Connor whined. </p><p>Connor was acting shy all of a sudden, like Hank didn't know he was a whore. He was probably just sleepy because he came, but some fresh citrus would wake him right up. </p><p>"You didn't do your research on this place before you snuck in my yard to steal from me?" </p><p>Connor shook his head. </p><p>"I didn't plan to steal your lemons, sir." He whined, squirming under Hank's gaze. </p><p>"Well you did. And my name's Hank, but you keep calling me 'Sir', you got it?"</p><p>"Got it..." The lemon whore watched while Hank set one of the halves on the coffee table. "... I'm Connor." </p><p>"That's a pretty name for a pretty whore." </p><p>"Thank you, sir." </p><p>"Good boy. Take those off. Now." </p><p>Connor blushed bright blue, matching his wet undies. Still acting so shy as he slid them off his long legs after discreetly squeezing his cock, almost like his naked body hadn't been visible this whole time. But now Hank could see all the sugar sweet cum on his dick and was licking his lips. </p><p>"Shh, that's it, good boy. We're gonna make some lemonade." </p><p>"Can I have some when you're done?" </p><p>"Of course, sweet thing."</p><p>Hank encouraged Connor to stand up while he sat on the couch in front of the boy. He got his glass and lemon half ready in either hand, Connor watched with wide, confused eyes. The lemon was right there! He wanted to lick it, he didn't know why Hank had it so close to his leaking prick. But Hank's mouth was watering, Connor had tasted so sugar sweet, the balance of sugary android come and tart lemon juice would be heavenly. </p><p>Hank took Connor's hand and wrapped his plastic fingers around his plastic prick and made sure he was holding it steady, regardless of how furrowed the whore's brow was. Such a good little robot, taking orders, Hank thought as he pushed Connor's tip into the flesh of the lemon. </p><p>"Sir!?" Connor exclaimed. </p><p>His sensitive head was being squeezed by the fruit, and he gasped when Hank started to twist, holding his glass underneath to catch all the juice and jizz. And it was quite a sight, cock shaft in his fist and his mushroom tip turned into a bright yellow lemon tip as the human massaged and squeezed. Even the little seeds felt nice against his sex component that he'd thought he'd only been given to be a whore with but no- androids were meant to serve humans and he was serving as Hank's personal lemon juicer and sweetener. </p><p>"Ooohh~ juice me, Hank! It feels so good!" </p><p>"Give me some more sugar, baby. Be a good boy and help me make a tall glass of lemonade." Hank ordered, swapping out the lemon half for a new one. </p><p>He made Connor push his cock into yet another fruit, deflowering it, and graciously let him jerk his little juicer up and down as long as he kept it in place and Hank was able to harvest the juices dripping off his whore. </p><p>"Oh I bet you taste so yummy, Connor. Bet you taste just like a lemon drop. Just like candy~" Hank purred.</p><p>It looked good for him too, his cock still aching after fucking Connor and not coming, but this was a show that was worth waiting for. How many times could a lemon stealing whore cum to make lemonade with him? Did his own cock taste sweet too after fucking his ass? </p><p>"Juice me, I wanna be juiced! I'm gonna make more sugar for you, Sir!" Connor cried.</p><p>"Not yet. Slow down. I'll jerk you off, okay? You can finish in a little bit when I say." </p><p>They'd juiced all the lemon halves with Connor's dick and Connor was shaking. His crotch was all wet and dripping but most of it had gotten in the cup. His tummy was trembling and his knees were knocking, so desperate to come and give Hank his sugar again. But Hank said wait, and he wanted to make up the stealing to him. So Connor took deep, shaking breaths and waited as Hank cut up yet another lemon with his pocket knife. </p><p>Hank sliced the ends off, and was cutting a hole in the middle of the fruit, laying most of the flesh to the side and leaving a ring of soft lemon inside the round rind. He set the glass to the side, but within reach, and approached the slutty whimpering robot again. </p><p>Connor moaned as Hank slid the lemon ring down his length, his twinky little prick fitting inside just barely. It squeezed him, even when Hank wasn't closing his fist around it. Hank barely waited a moment before he started to jerk Connor off with the lemon like it was a sex toy, even though Connor himself was just a sex toy. He was so pretty when he was feeling pleasure, Hank just couldn't resist stroking his pretty cock, making it smell like his favorite fruit of all time, making the juice drip down his hairless balls. </p><p>Connor's hands went to the human's long hair, gripping it while he moaned. He felt like he was fucking someone, the tight slide up and down his hot body was bananas. Couldn't stop his skinny hips from humping into the lemon and the hand. This had to be the best taste of lemon he'd ever gotten and he hasn't even tried the lemonade yet! </p><p>But Connor didn't know that it could get even better. Hank bowed his head and took that tart tip in his mouth and Connor cried, salty tears on his tongue that couldn't be anywhere near as good as the lemons Hank was tasting. And boy did Connor taste GOOD. Hank moaned too, licking and sucking on the whore and drinking that lemon candy down.</p><p>With the human sucking on his tip, and fuck jerking his cock, Connor's hair trigger couldn't take it. His round lemon balls were full of lemon candy seeds. Leaking into Hank's mouth, knowing he was licking up all that lemon juice too, Connor couldn't hang on.</p><p>"I'm gonna come! I'm gonna make sugar! Gonna make sugar for you! Sir!" Connor cried out. </p><p>But Hank was just in time, pulling off his meager little prick and jerking all that sugar and lemon juice into the glass, pleased to find that it had gotten quite full. But had Connor earned a drink? Hank still hadn't come yet. Sure, the lemon stealing whore had made sugar and lemonade, but had be earned it? </p><p>Connor was flushed all blue, his blush spreading across his chest, his face, making his freckles stand out. So beautiful with a lemon cock ring sitting on his still hard prick. </p><p>"You came twice and you still want more?" </p><p>"It won't go down till I get your lemony seed, Sir." </p><p>Hank tsked. "Fucking androids. Fucking lemon stealing whores. </p><p>Hank hadn't used one of the smaller lemons but it would have it's purpose. He picked it up and walked over to his android who looked up at him hopefully. </p><p>"Did I earn some lemons, Sir? I was a good boy, right?" Connor asked hopefully. </p><p>Hank grabbed him by the jaw. Wedged it open with his thumb and forefinger and shoved the small lemon behind Connor's teeth, holding his tongue down. Effectively gagging him.</p><p>"I'm not done with you, yet, whore." Hank growled. </p><p>Being gagged and having an airway blocked off stressed Connor enough that his LED was spinning yellow again, and it matched beautifully with the lemon in his open mouth. Connor's desperate panting through his nose made his head spin. </p><p>Laying the pretty mechanical bitch on the couch, Hank was beyond ready to finish using him. Finally fucking ready to teach a lemon stealing whore a damn lesson. He'd been a useful whore. But he was still a little criminal and he needed to pay for his crimes with ass. </p><p>It was a good thing Connor needed to get his ass filled with come to finally go soft, because that's exactly where it was going. Hank spread those pretty long legs, grinned at how pretty he was down here, soaked little pucker like his ass was puckering up from all the lemon juice. Poor baby looked so sticky. </p><p>Hank treated the robo-slut's ass open with his tip, enjoying the little grunt Connor made before he slammed all the way in. Completely burying his cock like the lemon tree's roots in the backyard. Connor grunted and groaned, muffled by the lemon in his mouth and Hank started to fuck his ass. The slutty toaster's arms were on the couch, trying to keep from being fucked off the furniture, but Hank took one of his hands and brought it up to his chest. </p><p>"You can touch me too, you've been a good boy. Good boy." </p><p>Connor whined, gurgling behind the lemon and drooling all over himself in response. One hand did wrap around Hank's shoulder for stability, but the other groped Hank's old man tit through his shirt. Pawing at the soft human flesh with interest. Curiously ran a thumb over Hank's nipple and delighted in the shudder that passed over the human, as well at the increase in speed and intensity that made it harder to grope efficiently. Connor pawed at the other tit with his other hand, honking Hank's man titties with delight. </p><p>"Fuck, fine, I'll take off my shirt- naughty whore." Hank stopped with his dick still in Connor's ass and pulled his shirt off and tossed it aside. He flopped back down to keep fucking Connor, groaning when he was groped again. "Fuck, it's a good thing I had you gagged, I don't wanna know what you'd be saying if I hadn't stuck that lemon down your throat." </p><p>Connor quivered with pleasure and happiness thinking that while he was gay, he considered himself a boob guy now. Hank's chest tattoo was worth stealing, being punished and juiced for. Very warm and hairy under his hands, and almost as beautiful as his lemons. The man could grow a damn fine lemon tree and a nice rack. </p><p>But the pleasure of having his tits massaged was taking it's toll on Hank's stamina. He was too sensitive and it felt too fucking good. And he'd waited long enough to fuck the lemon stealing whore, he'd waited long enough to come, just wanted to see Connor do it one more time. It took some convincing to get the robot to let go of his tit but he managed to get it on the android's own cock and encouraged him to touch himself. </p><p>"You come with me, I'll let you have as many lemons as you can carry." Hank panted.</p><p>Connor's eyes lit up, and he got to jerking his fruity cock massager, squirming at how good it felt to fuck and be fucked by a lemon and it's farmer. His legs shook. Hank's balls drew up. And they came in perfect unison, getting off mutually on the contracting of Connor's ass and the seed being shot deep into it. </p><p>"Good boy," said Hank, helping get the lemon gag out of Connor's mouth,  I'll get you those lemons, baby, just gimme a minute." </p><p>Hank rested above his well punished whore for a moment before getting up. He left Connor laying on his couch after first piling on some well earned treats, and went to the kitchen with the glass from before to add water to make a delicious post sex drink. </p><p>Fresh sugar sweet come on his belly, drool on his face, Connor caught his breath laid out on his back. Hank had given him the whole bushel of lemons that he'd earned with his sexy robot parts. Hank let him keep his lemon cockring. Even said he could take a shower and Hank would wash his little ho outfit for him. </p><p>Connor clutched and cradled his lemons to his chest, smiling to himself, satisfied and content. He'd earned his lemons. But there was just one problem.</p><p>"Um, Sir? I don't think I can eat all these lemons by myself."</p><p> </p><p>Epilogue: </p><p>Connor was much more well dressed than the first time he'd entered Hank's backyard. Blue jeans and a flannel shirt, brown belt and boots. Still wearing pretty panties underneath but that was a treat for later. Connor couldn't help it if he liked pretty things. Like the gorgeous lemons on his boyfriend's lemon tree. </p><p>He carried a bag of fertilizer, knowing where Hank kept the gardening tools and not needing to bring his own. The lemon tree had sprouted yet again, after a year spent eating canned lemon jam and pies and all their hard work had been fruitful. But there was always more work to be done. </p><p>Connor poured the fertilizer the way he knew would help the tree grow and sprout. And then he knelt in the grass, pulling weeds and basking in the summer sun. The day was beautiful, so warm and bright. Until he found himself in a shadow. Connor turned to look and see. </p><p>"Are you stealing my lemons again, whore?" The human rumbled.</p><p>"Hank~" said Connor with a smile. </p><p>He was pulled up off his feet with a helping hand, and right into a bittersweet kiss. Connor could taste the lemonade in Hank's mustache, and ran white plastic fingers through his long silver hair, keeping his love close and lengthening their sweet kiss. Connor finally let Hank breath but didn't move away</p><p>"No. I'm being a good boy." </p><p>"Now what's the fun in that? You look parched. Wanna come inside? Have some lemonade?" Hank teased, ghosting his fingers up his android's sides.</p><p>"Only if I can help you make it," Connor teased right back. </p><p>Hank released his boyfriend in preparation for going inside and getting out of the heat, but Connor paused, looking at their beautiful, co-owned, insured lemon tree. </p><p>"I wish I was a lemon," Connor said wistfully.</p><p>"If you were a lemon, I would put you on our shelf and cherish you like I cherish all our lemons." </p><p>Hank gave his boy a whiskery kiss on his neck while Connor blushed blue, knowing exactly how Hank Anderson cherished lemons in that house. </p><p> </p><p>THE END</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you liked it, please leave a comment if you did! I'm very proud of this one, I'm not even sorry. If I missed a normal tag, and not a weird one that I'll add when possible, please let me know! Hopefully I'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming soon, now that I've got my land legs under me again</p></blockquote></div></div>
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